Mojo’s Mind

SATIRE

Mojos+Mind

Marquis Walters

The bell of all bells, the ring before the rapture, the sounding of the horns. These were all used to describe the horrific sound all of Lincoln High School would hear before class, the 1-minute bell.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Zebra schedule, it’s quite common to hear a plethora of bells before class begins. These are used to herd the students into their correct classes in a timely fashion with a hint of urgency. But that 1-minute bell, that 1-minute bell fails to put some pep in our step. Instead it acts as a conduit of fear, shaking the minds of students and disturbing the peace that Zoose spent years cultivating.

I had questioned some of its victims and they seem to be at a loss. There might be a bizarre atmosphere that surrounds those affected by “The Judgement-Day Horn”  “Well I like it because it kinda organizes the day in a better fashion,” Mr. Wardlaw said. Our favorite Statistics and Anatomy teacher is lost, very lost, and he must seek help to return to the land of the living. The bell had hypnotized one of our own and the Zebra way would never be the same again.

It would be a sickening crime to admire our 1 minute bell. Most LHS students fail to decipher which sound is which. With the exception of the criminally insane, all would say that the 1-minute bell should be abolished, to be sent straight to the depths of Mrs. Hladun’s leftmost cabinet drawer. We aspire for peace and tranquility here at Lincoln and this abrupt disruption in our school day shall not go overlooked.